So, I keep hearing about this pandemic wall. Are there people who haven’t hit a wall yet? Who are they? How does their programming work? Are they androids?
I feel like I hit this metaphorical wall months* ago and have been stuck on it – or in it** – ever since.
Anyway, I hope you have a friend who can repeatedly pry you off the wall if you’re stuck too.
*Days? Weeks? Years? Time is a flat circle now, just like Matthew McConaughey predicted. Who had the “alright, alright, alright” guy from Dazed & Confused as unlikely pandemic prophet on their bingo card?
**Kind of like one of those unfortunate computer game protagonists who get stuck inside the wall due to a programming glitch, never to escape.
Dating during a pandemic seems a bit complicated. Who’s behind that mask? How do you meet someone from six feet away?
Clockie’s new dating app to the rescue! Go on virtual dates & take things to the next level from the comfort of home. There’s no reason to ever meet in person – just get someone locked down before the next lockdown!
Her next business venture will be an app to help you plan the perfect quarantine nuptials. If the science works out, she’ll figure out how to get you pregnant virtually as well. (That last part seems like the plot of a horror movie or the next bestselling dystopian novel. Or maybe just the plot of your next nightmare.)
I know some folks will be missing the usual holiday gatherings this year… but I also know that some people won’t really be “missing” them at all.
Those nosy relatives who you see once a year are going to have to find another way to ask why you’re still single & when you’re planning to have kids (or another kid). Maybe you should send a mass email or start a newsletter? Create a Twitter account solely for dating recaps or ovulation updates? Innovation awaits.
Given the dumpster fire that is 2020, Clockie’s had to share the spotlight with her rival. Bertha Control May just be this year’s It Girl.
Seriously though, given everything that’s going on this year (remember the murder hornets?), it makes a certain sort of sense that some life plans may be changed or put on hold. Who among us hasn’t wondered if this is something of a lost year?
So… have you learned that new language yet? Taken up a new hobby? Finished a bunch of house projects?
Yeah… me neither. Perhaps we can all just agree that making it through this dumpster fire of a year is enough all by itself. Deal?
